Days pass and Zolnax finds his wife to share the good news. “Sweetheart, you’ll never guess!”
June beams and says in her warbly voice, “The fertilization process is complete. You are now incubating our offspring.”
With that, a wave of nausea hits Zolnax’s stomach. “Ugh…why do I feel so awful?”
(Because that’s how bazillions of pregnant women everywhere feel. Now you know. Not fun, huh? 🙃)
Months fly by when Hunter decides to pay the newlyweds a visit.
“You said you had something to announce?” Hunter asks. Then he looks at Zolnax’s burgeoning belly.
“Son, I know June might be a good cook, but honestly, you need to lay off all the carbs. Trust me.”
(Yeah, Hunter had to use a potion to get skinny. 😒)
(Hey, Zolnax…I think you need to set your dad straight on what’s up.)
“Creator, he’d freak,” Zolnax says to me in his head. He turns to Hunter and shrugs. “I’ll go on a diet in about…nine months.”
June chimes in, “We are generating offspring, my human husband’s male progenitor. Your seed will not shrivel on the generation vine.”
(That’s one way of putting it. Is it me, or is June learning human language a bit better? 🤔)
Now it’s time for Zolnax to hit the NAP boards.
(What are you smiling about, Zolnax?)
“Oh, Creator, I just love this town.”
I look over to see why he’s smiling.
Of course, someone is in a fight yet again. 🙄
But poor Zollie’s back is on fire from the weight of his baby.
(Are you okay, Zolnax?)
“Creator, how do women do this? It’s…unreasonable.”
(Toughen up, Zolnax. It’s not that bad. Yeesh! The pain is worth it once you have the kid.)
Back at home, the doorbell rings. Zolnax opens it to find one of his father’s friends, Vladislaus Straud.
(Good God, Zolnax. Can your belly get any bigger?)
“Hush, Creator. It’s bad enough that my stomach looks like there’s several creatures invading it and my back is literally KILLING me!”
Vlad turns to Zolnax. “I heard you had a proposition for me, lad. I’m listening.”
“I’m looking for someone who has certain…skills. There will be a lot of money in if you do a good job.”
Vlad arches his eyebrow. “I don’t need money, dear boy. But if you allow me to drink plasma from people at will then I’m in.”
(Whoo boy. I’m wondering what you’re up to, Zolnax, but a part of me just doesn’t want to know. 😩)
As the sun sets, Zolnax feels tired. He sits on the couch when a wave of pain shocks his belly. He calls to June.
She walks over to him. “What is it, my favorite human husband?”
He looks up at her. “It’s time.”
(Ahhhh! TIME? The baby is about to arrive? YAY! 🎉)
Once the two get to the hospital, that’s when June freaks out.
(That was slow. lol! 😝)
Zolnax says in his head, “Cut it out, Creator, I’m in pain!”
(Okay, I’ll be nice. Believe me, birthing a child is no joke. More like torture! 😖)
Just then, June bursts at the doctor, “Why is my human husband not attended to? You are as slow as a slarnock on planet Tresbold. I implore you to gratify his every inclination or I will order your body transported to the darkest black hole where there will be no trace of your atrocious atoms in existence.”
(Eheheh…remind me never to get June mad. 😳)
(Uh…Zollie? What are you doing?)
“I don’t know, Creator. I have this weird urge to…clean.”
He goes over to a trash can and flicks the old food into the garbage.
After what seems like hours, Zolnax is finally given a hospital gown as another wave of pain rips through his gut.
“Ahhhh! Creator! Just kill me now! I’m NEVER going to do this again!”
(I’ll remind you of this when June says she wants another child.)
The doctor finally gets to work, fiddling with the weird nobs on the hospital bed.
“Ahhh! Creator! What’s going to happen to me? Is he going to kill me in order to get the baby? Why did you allow me to go through this torture?”
(Calm down, Zolnax. It’ll all be over soon. And since you’re in such duress, I won’t say I told you so right now but…it’s coming. 😐)
Sweet chimes ring out and two nooboos are born!
(Congratulations, Zolnax. You’ve got TWIN BOYS!)
“Don’t talk to me, Creator. I’m mad at you.”
(Why are you blaming me in all of this? You chose June and I TOLD you the consequences.)
Once home, June lovingly feeds one of the babies, she’s so ecstatic about her sons.
But Zolnax isn’t as happy.
(What’s wrong, Zolnax? Aren’t you glad it’s all over?)
“No, Creator, because June wants three children and I don’t want to go through that experience ever again.”
(Well, that hospital was a nightmare. I think you should check into home birth next time. But cheer up, Zollie. You won’t have to do that again for a while! I hope. 😬)