Chapter 3.18

It’s time for Zolnax’s wedding!

(Are you ready?)

He grins up at me. “Oh, Creator! I’ve never been more ready in my life! Where’s my sexy blue wife-to-be?”

(She’s coming. I promise!)

I whisk everyone to the alien park–the site where Zolnax had his first date with June.

(I made this park years ago. Little did I know I’d actually use it for one of my sim’s weddings.)

June meets Zolnax at the altar.

“Wow, Creator,” Zolnax says in his head. “She’s so gorgeous. My knees are shaking.”

And then his mother ruins the moment by swimming in the pool to watch the ceremony.

(Really, Medusa? 🤦‍♀️)

June’s mother takes her place at the front. “My female offspring will implant many ovums in her eternal companion’s protractsis. I am quite pleased.”

(Uh…how many are you thinking about implanting? 👀)

One of their friends who came groans. “WHY do I have to use a chair? It isn’t natural!”

You can say that again. My GOD! Won’t anyone use a freaking chair during the wedding? June is professing her love for Zolnax!

(Sims. 🙄)

After June finishes gushing out her vows, Zolnax says, “I promise to love, honor, and cherish you until death separates us, my dearest June.”

(Ah…that sounds so sweet even coming from a megalomaniac like Zollie.)

With that, confetti falls from the skies as they kiss to complete the ceremony. Even snarky Bealzibix (who STILL isn’t sitting in a freakin’ chair) seems mildly pleased.

“I love you, my favorite human husband,” June whispers.

“I love you, too, sweetheart.”

Late to the party runs the ex-butler, Charles, who is married to Jena. Yes, that was quick. Jena is now preggers but refuses to say her well wishes to the newly married couple out of spite.

One of Zollie’s exes, Annabeth, decides to come but she doesn’t look happy about it.

But London seems super pumped!

“This place looks like it’s full of loot. Should be an easy job.”

(Uh…London? This isn’t the time for you to pull a heist. You’re a guest! 🤦‍♀️)

Some guests didn’t even watch the ceremony. June’s father is so infatuated with the Sixam plantlife, he bends down to do some gardening. “I haven’t seen a magourous opsidium since I was a small larvae.”

(What are these aliens? Bugs? 😳)

(Congratulations, Zolnax! You did it! You’re now a married man. I never thought it possible but you’ve grown up. ***Sniff***)

Zolnax grins. “Thank you, Creator. I’m thrilled and can’t wait for the honeymoon.”

(Of course that’s where your mind goes. 😑)

“Me, too, my favorite human husband.” June giggles in her electronic voice.

London pokes her head between the newlyweds. “June, dear, would you mind letting me borrow your diamonds? They need cleaning.”

(Riiiiight. Don’t give that thief ANYTHING!)

Zolnax snaps his fingers. “Thief! Oh yes, the lovely London. That puts me in mind of something. Creator, remind me to hire London as soon as I get my lair ready.”

(***Smacks head on desk***)

Now it’s time for the cutting of the wedding cake. June gingerly places a piece of cake in Zolnax’s mouth.

(Awww…how sweet! 😍)

When it’s Zollie’s turn, he squishes it all over his bride’s face!

(Why does this not surprise me? 😐)

Walking up to them, Hunter takes a bite of hors d’oeuvres and says, “Back in my day, son, I wished on a well for my bride.”

(Yeah, and how did that go, huh, Hunter? 🙄🙄🙄)

June’s father says to her mother, “Tell our female offspring to have her eternal companion meet me outside their residence immediately after these celebratory functions, please.”

(He’s not messing around! Zollie’s gonna get knocked up. Quick! 👀)

In the middle of Hunter’s musings about how wonderful his life had been before children (lies), Zollie can’t help himself and he plants a giant kiss on June.

Hunter’s face scrunches up. “Can’t you wait for the honeymoon, son? I was getting to the best part.”

(Seems he can’t. 🤣)

“You go get it, Zollie!” Ariana pumps her fist.

(At least she’s over her heartbreak! 🤷‍♀️)

After they’ve eaten their fill, everyone meets up at the bar.

“I believe we wish for at least five larvae, maybe six,” June says to Medusa.

(Zolnax! Did you hear that? You’re going to get impregnated with SIX babies!)

Zolnax laughs. “She’s just had too much to drink, Creator. No worries. I’ve agreed to three.”

(***Crosses arms*** But who’s in charge of that? Her parents, that’s who. I think you’d better set some ground rules with your in laws.)

Shaking his head, Zolnax says to me, “Will you stop worrying, Creator? I’ve got this all under control.”

(Where have I heard that before? 🤦‍♀️)

After everyone has their fill of food, drink, and dancing, the poor groom is tapped out. He fails right on the couch at his own wedding.

(Better rest up, Zollie. I get the feeling you’re going to be run around ragged with a ton of pregnancies! ROFL! 😜)