As everyone enters the mansion, the ladies sink into their luxurious abode, ooing and ahhing at all the sparkling decorations.
June lifts an eyebrow and says in her warbly voice, “My plasma endowed chassis quivers with ecstasy at this consumate crash pad.”
(***scratches head*** Why does everything that comes out of June’s mouth sound so dirty? 🤷♀️)
Tonya nods. “What she said.”
(June’s not the only one with dirty thoughts. 😝)
Just then, Zolnax walks in and greets all his lovely ladies. “Welcome to the bachelor mansion where we’re going to have a lot of fun. We have everything imaginable, including a spa, massage chair and table, hot tub and whatever else you could desire.”
Jada smiles. “I can imagine a room alone with you, Zollie.”
Jena jerks her head toward Jada and snarls, “Watch it, sister. You’re not the only one who wants to jump his bones.”
The girls chatter on about solo dates, peppering Zolnax with questions.
When the conversation dies down, Jada asks, “Would you accompany me upstairs? I’d like to give you a gift, Zolnax.”
(A gift? Upstairs? Sounds like a trap! She might POUNCE! And that’s not fair to the other girls, Zolnax!)
Zollie tuts at me inside his head. “How can I deny her desires, Creator?” Turning to her, he agrees.
(Ugh. 😑 Well, Jada’s smart. She’s getting the jump on all the rest!)
Like a trained puppy, Zolnax follows Jada out of the room.
But Keisha isn’t happy. She rants, “Oh. My. Tortured. SOUL! I was going to ask him that!”
What could Jada possibly give Zolnax? She doesn’t have any personal items.
To my surprise, she brings him to the spa area and seats him in a chair.
“Take off your shoes,” Jada orders.
(My this girl is forceful! 😮)
Jada wrinkles her nose. “Good God, your feet stink like rancid dung-berries!”
Zollie’s eyes narrow. “If I’d known you were going to give me a foot rub, I would have showered, my dear. Please forgive my shortcomings.”
Uh oh. Jada’s neatness is coming out. I don’t like that look Zollie is giving her. He’s a glutton and a slob at heart–having been coddled by a butler most of his life.
(***waves hand over nose*** Pee-ew, Zollie! You need to soak those piggies in soap! NOW!)
But maybe Jada didn’t like his answer and she stabs Zollie’s arches.
“Ow!” Zollie cries, writhing in pain.
Omg, I can’t watch anymore of this torture (but it’s his own fault. I told him he shouldn’t give her more attention than the other girls so I’m not saving him!)
When I leave, I hear angry words rising over the back part of the mansion and I quickly peek in.
Fiesty Tonya is waving her arms frantically. “Who do you think you are, Jena? There’s seven ladies. Your chances aren’t any better than the rest of us.”
“But Tonya, it’s inevitable. Zolnax obviously cares for me much more than anyone else.”
Tonya shakes her head. “Honestly, you haven’t had as much time with him as Ariana has. If anyone’s ahead, it’s her.”
“Don’t bring up that tramp’s name in front of me,” Jena yells. “She got rid of my bff in the house.”
(EEK! I better get Zollie before they start scratching each other’s eyes out! 😵)
(Zolnax, come quick! There’s another cat fight fire you need to put out!)
“Praise you, Creator,” Zolnax says inside his head. “I don’t think I could possibly stand anymore of this ‘gift’ Jada is giving me.”
“Jada, dear, I believe I’m wanted downstairs.”
When Zolnax finds the two cats in a brawl, he grins.
(Zolnax! Why aren’t you breaking them up? And what the heck are you smiling about?)
“Don’t you get it, Creator? Jena has icicles in her veins. She’s practically MADE for me.”
(***Hits head on desk***)
He marches into the living room and grabs one of the roses.
Then brings Jena away from all the other girls.
“Jena, darling, the way you masterfully swallowed your opponent whole in a fight is the kind of machiavellian moxy I need in a wife.” He whips out the flower. “Will you accept this rose, my dear?”
(Are you kidding me? She’ll probably rip it out from your fingers and parade it in front of the others. 😳)
“Yes, I will,” she says, snickering.
Arching her eyebrow, Jena gloats to herself, “Take THAT, Tonya! He DOES like me best.”
(Well, I wouldn’t go that far, Jena. As Tonya pointed out, there are other girls here that he likes, too!)
And sure enough, Zolnax is chatting up June right before the dinner party.
June asks, “Would you like to meet my familial progenitors one day on Sixam? I believe they would find you a remarkable specimen.”
(Sounds like you’d be their science experiment, Zollie! Say NO! 👽)
“That sounds…interesting,” Zolnax says with a tight smile.
June nods excitedly. “It’s a date! I will contact my female progenitor. She will have protoplasmic refrection ready whenever you make the invocation.”
(Aack! Zolnax! What have you gotten yourself into? 👀)
“Creator…you’re being silly. This is a great opportunity for me,” Zolnax says in his head.
He beams at June. “I look forward to meeting them. I believe I could learn a lot from your parents.”
But someone isn’t happy with this date planning.
And then Zollie starts making the rounds, talking with everyone. “Hee hee! My feet didn’t stink that bad, Jada. Tell the truth.”
Jada laughs with Zolnax. “Are you kidding? I still got that stench up my nose!”
(Me, too! Whew! 😜)
Jena glares. “What the heck is going on here? I’M the one with the rose! How could Zolnax possibly talk to anyone else?”
(Eek! I think round two of the cat fighting is about to begin.)