Chapter 3.5

Now it’s onto more speed dating!

Jada and Zolnax head into a nearby pub.

(Hold off on scarfing your food, Zolnax! You know Jada hates your sloppy eating.)

“I’ll be fine, Creator,” Zolnax says in his head. “She’s going to have to get used to it sooner or later.”

Not taking a bite (which probably is a good idea), he asks, “Tell me something, Jada dear, which town would you like to conquer first on our quest for world domination?”

(***Smacks head*** Jada will probably head for the hills with that question, Zol!)

But surprisingly, Jada only smiles and puts another cracker in her mouth.

*****

After that date, I drop the two drama queens together for a two on one outing.

I’m terrified these two might go at it again.

The tension intensifies as Ariana stares Princess down with a tight smile on her face.

Not intimidated one bit, Princess stares right back.

(Awkward much?)

Hopefully, the next date will go better.

The last three, Keisha, Tonya and London meet up with Zollie at a beach bar.

“Who’s up for karaoke?” Zolnax says. “I’d love to hear your beautiful singing voices.”

When the girls sit down to wait their turn at the microphone, they’re accosted by a dude.

A drunk dude.

(OMG! Zolnax! You better get rid of this guy. He’s harassing your dates!)

Luckily, the dude stumbles away as Zolnax hurries over and croons a delightful tune.

London is enraptured by his singing.

But where are the other two?

(Oops! 😝)

They’re in line for drinks at the bar.

After all the speed dates are over, Zolnax invites the girls for a little movie watching party to kick back and mingle before the rose ceremony.

And some girls are more confident than others.

(Okay, Zollie, are you ready to choose who’s staying and who’s going home?)

Zolnax looks up at me and answers, “This is the worst part. Why can’t I just keep all of them, Creator?”

(Because they aren’t toys! You’re going to choose ONE so I don’t have the problem I had with your father and your lecherous grandfather! 🙄)

“Funsucker.”

The girls line up, awaiting their doom, I mean, Zolnax’s choice.

(They all look so beautiful!)

Zolnax takes the first rose and gives it to June. “Thank you for suggesting we conquer the universe together, sweetheart.”

“It will be my eternal exultation to subjugate lower humanoids whether on this planet or another, my human paramour.”

(😑)

Zolnax giggles. “See, Creator? I’m not an abomination like you’ve called me before. June agrees with my sentiments.”

(Just because she’s as batshit crazy as you doesn’t make it right. You won’t be conquering ANYTHING under MY watch. But feel free to dream. 😎)

Next, Zolnax hands a rose to Princess.

“Darling, thank you for being so kind not to scratch out Ariana’s eyes the other day.”

She takes the gift and says, “My pleasure.”

“And for you, beautiful Jena, I love how you’re not afraid to go after what you want. Even if you have to sneak around.”

Sniffing her flower deeply, she says, “I’d stab my own mother in the back for you, darling.”

(👀👀👀👀)

Zolnax lifts another rose. “Here you go, Jada. Thank you for putting up with my glutonous ways.”

“As long as I can’t see the gross stuff in your mouth, you’re good.”

Zolnax hands the next rose to London. “You have fine taste in men. Mainly me. I found your fangirling rather charming.”

(🙄🙄🙄🙄)

London gives him her sultry stare and says, “I love to steal looks at you all day long.”

(What is with this girl and the word “steal”?)

Zolnax offers a rose to Keisha. “We didn’t get a chance to know one another well but I like how different you are.”

“Honey, you haven’t seen anything yet!”

(Good God Almighty! 🤦‍♀️)

“For you, Ariana. I’m intrigued by your eyes and wish for us to become closer.”

“As long as Princess doesn’t get in the way, I do, too!”

(Eeps! I hope there’s not more drama to come! 😬)

And now we’re down to the last two: Annabeth and Tonya.

Annabeth seems to not worry since they did have a one on one date. Poor Tonya is hiding her nerves well.

Zolnax holds a rose up to…

“Tonya, thank you for putting up with that drunk at the bar. You are a trooper.”

Taking the rose, she whispers, “I want you to experience my dark side, Zolnax. Hope we can get some alone time soon.”

(Wow. These girls are bold! 😵)

Annabeth shakes her head. “What the hell? We’ve had more dates than anyone else. How in the world would you pick someone like Tonya over me?”

Glowering, Zolnax says, “I surmised from the way you wanted to save the world that you are exactly the type of girl who would get in my way of evil world domination.”

(Eek. I’ve never seen that look on Zollie’s face! Scary! 😱)

Annabeth laughs and points. “Got you! Just kidding there, Zolnax. I wasn’t feeling it either. No hard feelings.”

With that, Zolnax gives a hearty evil laugh. “Muahahahahaaaaa!”

(He never tires of that. 🙇‍♀️)

Zollie hands Annabeth some trash she’d been eyeing all night and bids her farewell.

And so, another beautiful lady departs.

Sorry Irishsong, but it wasn’t a match! Annabeth got more time with Zolnax than the other girls because of her putting out the fire and she got a nice one on one date but they never hit it off.

Thank you for submitting her! She will be missed!