We continue this bachelor challenge at dinner with House 2….
“Hey,” Zolnax says as he helps June off the floor, “I really didn’t look at your butt. Honest!”
(Sure, Jan. 😒)
Then he takes a different tactic. “But if I DID, I’d say your alien ass doesn’t look alien. It looks…awesome.”
This doesn’t do the trick. June winces and says in her electronic voice, “But what is wrong with alien gluteous maximus? Are they not fine enough for erotic arousal?”
(For the love of all things sane! Get your mind out of the woohoo gutter, June!)
Zolnax smirks at me. “Creator, I think her mind is right where it should be.”
(Sigh…you are your father’s son! 😭)
But just then, I get this notification as alarms blare all over the house.
(Oh CRAP!!! 😱😱😱😱 I don’t want any of the girls to die!)
June, Jada, and the housekeeper all scream!
(Quick! Zolnax! Get the fire estinguisher and save these damsels in distress!)
Zolnax points and sputters, “Bu..Bu…Bu…th-th-there’s a FIRE in here! HEEEEEEELP!!!!”
(Yup. Chivalry is dead. And so is bravery! 🤦♀️ There’s no knight-in-shining armor here!)
Jada loses it and jumps around crying, “I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die…”
That is until Annabeth flies in with a fire estinguisher and douses the flames.
(HOORAY! I don’t have to tell anyone’s sim mama that their little darling expired in a fire.)
Zolnax breathes, “Wow. That woman saved my life.”
(And everyone else’s. Something YOU neglected to do.)
Annabeth puts her hands on her hips and proclaims, “I am pretty awesome, if I do say so myself.”
(Huh boy. We do NOT need another narcissist in this legacy. No. Please. 😖)
“She seems just my type, Creator,” Zolnax says. “I want to reward her.”
(Fine. But make it quick because I don’t want to neglect the other women!)
He sidles over to her and asks, “Annabeth, would you like to come with me for a small tête-à-tête?”
She stares into his eyes and answers, “Say the word and I’m there.”
I whir them out the front door.
“Creator!” Zolnax yells. “You know I don’t DO sand. It gets into the tiny crevices of my feet!”
(Shhh! Zolnax! This is what Annabeth wants to do. She loves the outdoors!)
“Making a sand castle! That’s beneath my status as an evil enigma engineer. What am I? Seven?”
(You’re going to be seven inches shorter if you don’t get in there and help her with the sand sculpture. I’ve got a height mod. Muahahaahaaa! And don’t think I won’t use it! 😡)
“Okay, fine. But I’m NOT going to like it!”
Zolnax stomps over to Annabeth, watching her scoop sand in the bucket.
After a while, Zolnax gets into it. “Wee! This is fun!”
(You sure do sound like you’re seven. 🙄)
“I must admit, Creator, you were right. Making sand sculptures is just the thing to show off my talent.”
(Mmmhmm. Um…I don’t think Annabeth is as taken with your talent as you are. 😝)
Her eyebrows rise. “What the hell IS that?”
“It’s my favorite pet cowplant, Cuddles. She’ll eat all my nincompoop nemesis’s. Muauahahahaaaa!”
(Uh, Zol? Hey, Zol! Hate to break it to you but…you don’t have any nemesis’s.)
Annabeth smirks. “And that, folks, is how you win over the bachelor. Read it and weep.”
(Oh no…not TWO of them. Their egos are so big, I’m not sure both of them can fit in the same room together. But if it works for them? 🤷♀️)
Now it’s time for Zolnax to head back to his mansion. “That was incredible, Creator. I really like Annabeth!”
(But you hardly KNOW her! You didn’t even talk about anything!)
“Who cares? She likes Cuddles. And anyone who loves cowplants is definitely a keeper.”
The stars twinkle as night envelops the bachelor mansion.
Zolnax takes a bath to get ready for tonight’s party with the ladies!
When Zolnax goes downstairs, he says, “I clean up good, don’t I, Creator?”
(Even though I don’t want to encourage your ego, yes, Zolnax, you look very handsome tonight.)
But the ladies don’t seem to be in a pleasant mood.
(Huh boy. This could be a looooong night!)
June rubs her neck. “I will recalculate hibernation on hard surfaces. It is my summation that it is detrimental to my cervical vertebrae.”
(In other words, she has a stiff neck! Ugh. If she wins, I’ll have to translate All The TIME! 😱)
In the foyer, Aliana Kahananui whines to her friend, “Annabeth, I just don’t think he even knows I exist! I haven’t spoken one word to him and now you’ve already had a sort of date with him? Why even bother!”
“Just the girl I wanted to see,” Zolnax says, sneaking up behind Aliana. “Hello, Aliana!”
She whips around and her stomach drops. “Oh my GOD! Did you hear what I said???”
But Zolnax doesn’t care. He thinks she’s cute.
As Zolnax walks toward the backyard, he meets Diana.
“Ah…you’re looking mighty beautiful, Diana. Just like the goddess Hera.”
“Hera? You mean Hestia? Hera turned her rivals into monsters! Hestia is a peaceful, loving goddess.”
“No, I’m sure I mean Hera.”
Jena sees the two chatting and harrumphs. “I’ll show HIM!”
Then Zolnax finds her upstairs on the computer, trolling teh forums.
“Why don’t you come down to the pool so we can chat, dear?” Zolnax asks.
“I don’t see why I should. You’re so happy talking to everyone else!”
(Jealous much? 😬)
So, Zolnax does his duty and makes sure to talk to every girl before the rose ceremony.
He finds Ariana Brimstone on one of the couches in the backyard. “I must admit, you don’t look like a Mary,” Zolnax muses. “But how about I call you that instead? Because we have an Aliana here and I don’t want to get you confused.”
Ariana’s eyebrows draw together angrily. “WHO told you my REAL name? No one calls me that. Not even YOU!”
(Oh my! 👀 Zolnax, how about you call Aliana something else instead! 😵)
When Zolnax asks Aliana what name he could call her, she says, “You can call me after my great Aunt Mertyl for all I care as long as I get to be near you, handsome.”
(Well…that’s nice of her! But I wouldn’t call her Mertyl. How about…)
(Rip Van Winkle. Or Sandman. The girl is ALWAYS asleep! 🤦♀️)
When it’s Jada’s turn, an unexpected guest flies over them.
(I think it’s true love! That’s a good omen!)
“See this?” Zolnax flexes. “It’s a muscle. One day it’ll be big.”
Jada wiggles her hands. “Oooo! I hope so!”
(Huh boy. Why do girls like that? 🤔)
Then Zol goes into his evil laugh for the umpteenth time. It doesn’t seem to faze Jada in the least.
Next, Diana saunters up to the couple. “Hello, there. May I cut in?”
“If you want my big shoe in your big gut,” Jada warns.
(EEK! Catfight! Raaawr! 😈)
But Zolnax allows Diana to sit with him anyway.
(Oh, Diana, you better watch your back, or maybe your stomach! lol 😹)
Zolnax wants to get to know Diana better. “What’s your position on the Roughousing Encouraged proclamation?”
Diana’s skin tenses. “I think that’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard.”
(See, Zol? I told you it was a bad idea! 🤣)
Zolnax sniffs and says in his head, “It’s an awe-inspiring idea, Creator. Can you imagine people engaged in all out mayhem? It’s what dreams are made of.”
(***Slaps head*** If you say so, but…Diana here is very happy with her response. You might want to tell her you disagree…)
But instead of talking, awkward silence ensues.
If that wasn’t weird enough, the weirdest chick in the house, Keisha McCarthy, sits next to Zolnax.
She stares at him with a creepy smile on her face.
(Eheheheeeh…Zol? Are you sure about keeping her?)
Suddenly, she sniffs her armpits.
(***Hits head on desk***)
After all of the women chat with the bachelor, the butler (with a paper bag over his head, mind you) announces, “It’s time for the rose ceremony, Sir.”
(This is it, Zol! Your first rose ceremony. Are you sure you know who you’re sending home?)
“Creator, this has been a tough decision, but I’ve made it.”
(Okey dokey. Let’s get to it!)
The autumn breeze swirls as the ladies line up. Each unique in their own way and all have touched the heart of Zolnax. But who will be the unlucky lady to be sent home?
Zolnax reaches for a rose and offers it to…
“Jena, your dedication to mischief has really touched my heart. Will you accept this rose?”
She sniffs the delicate bouquet of the flower. “Of course.”
Zolnax grabs another flower and gives it to…
“Your remarkable ass-cheeks did not go unnoticed, my dear. Please accept this rose.”
She giggles her weird warble and says, “Affirmative, handsome human.”
Next, Zolnax gives his rose to Ariana Brimstone. “I do hope you’ll accept my apology for calling you Mary.”
She winks and says, “No need to apologize just…don’t do it again.”
London Hastings accepts Zol’s rose, almosty swiping it out of his hands. “Oh, don’t mind me. Bad habit.”
(Hmmm…swiping is a bad habit? I DEFINITELY need to keep an eye on her. 👀)
“For your dedication to my cowplant Cuddles, I must ask if you’ll accept this rose,” Zolnax says to Annabeth Rowland.
Annabeth can hardly contain herself. She nods and takes his rose.
“For you, Tonya Anansi.” Zolnax reaches out a rose. “Your beauty has caught my eye and I hope we get the chance to learn more about each other.”
Tonya smiles and says, “Why not?”
Zol then walks over to Aliana. “Although you sleep a lot, I must say, your approbation of allowing a name change has touched me deeply. I dub you, Princess Kahananui.”
Aliana gives him a sideglance and says, “How about Princess for short and you got a deal, handsome.”
Next, Zol stares intensely at a lady and she seems to figure out what he wants to tell her.
Because it’s Keisha McCarthy. The two seem to be on the same wavelength.
(Go figure. 🤷♀️)
And now the last two ladies stand. Who will get the final rose tonight?
Jada scratches her chin in thought and Diana smiles for she knows who will receive it since she stole time away from Jada. Plus, she secretly hates Jada’s guts.
(Oh no! We’re getting rid of one of the players in the catfight! Shucks.)
Zolnax moves toward…
She laughs and says, “I knew you couldn’t get rid of me that easily.”
Diana stammers, “B-But we had a connection, constantly talking and getting to know one another.”
(Look at that evil smile on Jada. Maybe Zolnax and Jada are meant for each other!)
“I’m very sorry, Diana, but from our many conversations, I knew we’re not meant to be together. We’re just too different.”
A glare that would rival any of Medusa’s harsh looks shot out at Zolnax. “You’ll regret that decision.”
(Oh my! Maybe she does have evil tendencie’s after all! 😱)
And without another word, Diana storms out of the bachelor mansion.
I’m so sorry, MINEZ, but Diana did not make a connection with Zolnax. Thank you for submitting her!
As you can see by the points below, it’s a very TIGHT race (except for Diana who was talking with our bachelor a lot of the time, so I was surprised to see this relationship score! I never saw them argue. It was just not a match!)
This will be the last time I show the points scored because I don’t want to give things away, but I will show it at the ending. (BTW, L. Faba is a place holder for the bachelor mansion, so no worries about her vying for the Zolnax’s heart!)