Hunter now has a great reputation.
(You’re kidding me, right? 😑)
Unbeknownst to his lovely wife (okay, fine), his awful wife, he’s collecting babes at the romance festival.
Five kisses down, five to go!
(***Sigh*** His stupid aspiration is making me queasy.)
And now, Hunter’s drinking some romance-inducing punch.
(As if he needs any more encouraging!)
But it helps because he gets number six smoocheroonie done!
After a few more unsuccessful attempts at number 7, he stumbles home with a huge, disgusting smile on his face.
(Hunter, I hope you know that next to the definition of “cheater”, it has your picture on it.)
“You think I care, Creator? Tonight was so much fun!”
(***crosses arms*** You think your wife will approve? You’re already tossed out of her bed. Maybe the house will be next!)
But Hunter doesn’t react to me and collapses on the bed.
The next day, I find Bealzie wafting in gross green smoke.
“Hey. Dorkface,” Bealzie yells at her brother. “I want a bath!” (Yes, she’s a bit precocious! Should I be worried? 👀)
But just like a typical teen, he ignores her.
So, she toddles over to her father. “You! I’m dirty. Give me a bath or I’ll throw myself on the floor and scream until your ears bleed.”
Hunter tuts, “Bealzie, I’ll not have you talk to me like that. What’s the magic word?”
(EEK! I had to censor out the finger gesture she threw at him!!! Hunter was right. She IS a demon child!)
Not wanting to find out what other obscenities she knows, he scoops her up and heads to the bathroom.
(Boy, I’m not looking forward to her teen years. Maybe I need to rethink the torch holder thing.)
But Hunter is thwarted by the tub being occupied.
So Bealzie fails!
(And still smells! Omg…how can something that evil be so stinking cute??? And yes, pun intended. 😜)
I wonder what Hunter is up to since he’s definitely not taking care of Bealzie. I find him in his bedroom, holding a bubbling tonic.
(What are all those bubbles for, Hunter?)
“It’s a potion that will turn me into the svelt hunk of man I know is inside, raging to come out.”
(You’re kidding me, right? Instead of eating healthy and exercising, you’re taking the cheaty way out. Why should I be surprised? You ARE the epitome of a CHEATER!!!!)
He draws up his eyebrows. “I like to think of it as the SMART way out, Creator. Now watch and learn.”
He gulps down the yellow liquid.
And in no time, he looks like he should be on an 80’s hair band rock tour.
“Ha ha! It worked! I feel ten years younger!”
(You mean 100 pounds lighter. 🙄 It won’t help you stay alive longer.)
“Whatever, Creator. I now look the part of a ladies man.”
He immediately goes to the hottest club in town.
“Watch and learn, Creator.”
(***hands on hips*** Stop saying that! Why do I need to learn anything from you?)
He just snickers at me.
Aaaand number seven smooch has landed.
Buoyed by his newfound ladykiller power, he dons his best threads and takes a new woman out.
And since she’s the umpteenth ho I’ve seen in only a few chapters, I have no clue what her name is. We’ll call her Pinky.
And Pinky is as evil and stoooopid as Hunter is.
Hunter shoos me with his hand. “I heard that, Creator. Now leave while I make some magic with…er…Pinky.”
(***snort*** YOU don’t even know her name.)
But I guess it doesn’t matter because that’s number EIGHT!
(Only two more to go and we can stop this madness!)
Back at home, I find Zolnax working with Bealzie on her language skills.
(Aww…maybe I misjudged him after all. What a sweet, thoughtful, KIND thing to do!)
Zolnax lifts a word card. “See this, Bealzie? It’s a bed. You’re supposed to go in it at night. And you’re not supposed to throw a fit.”
Bealzie glares. “Wanna bet?”
“Oooookay, how about this one then? See? This is a bottle. It’s for babies. That means you. You’re a baby.”
(Uh oh. Maybe Zolnax isn’t being very nice to her after all.)
Watching his sister fume with fury makes Zolnax extremely gratified. So he goes to her room. His meter is full on green, so I wonder what he’s up to.
He scratches his chin with a creepy smile.
Then he punches the poor stuffed animal with all his might.
(Omg…he’s a monster! 😱)
Just in the nick of time, it’s Bealzie’s birthday!
(And why am I surprised by her new trait? Huh boy. 😑)
She sparkles into a child!
And is the spitten image of her mama.
(EEK! That look. I’ve seen it before on demonic movie posters!)
Then she slowly turns her head toward me and says, “You’re stuck with me, Creator. Deal.”
(AHHHHHHH! 😱😱😱😱 She can SEE and HEAR me??? Oh no. The last person to do this was Mr. Sausages. No way in HELL am I going to be saddled with her forever.)
(***points at literal demon*** Get away from me, evil-spawn! The new torch holder will be ZOLNAX!)
Suddenly, a crack of thunder roars as I’m blinded by lightning.
When it fades, I get a notification.
Sigh…I guess we’re all stuck with him.
Meet the new torch holder, Zolnax Rex. He might be evil, gluttonous, and has violent tendencies, but hey! He’s the smartest sim I’ve seen yet. Maybe that’ll help?
Oh who am I kidding?
(***slams head on desk and cries***)