Chapter 2.11

As Hunter sleeps, Medusa slips home from work with a scowl.

(Uh oh…she’s snooping on his computer.)

“What has my infernal husband been doing behind my back?” she mutters to herself.

(What indeed? Let’s hope he didn’t upload any pics of him and Grace Anansi to his cloud. 😑)

But then she exclaims, “One million simoleons? Good Maker, the inept imbecile did it.”

(So true. That should put a smile on her face!)

But instead of laughing, she’s an evil sim and good news only puts her in a worse mood.

She stomps downstairs and glares.

Shaking her head, she exclaims, “If we’re so rich, why must we live in this sunny, overbright hovel?”

(***wrings hands*** I thought they’d really like the place. It’s got DOOM written all over it. ***shrugs***)

She immediately goes to the bedroom and wakes Hunter up. “I cannot believe it,” she storms. “I’ve scraped viruses off the bottom of my shoe that were smarter than you. How’d you do it?”

Hunter gulps. “We haven’t done it yet.”

(Hunter, you moron! She’s talking about the money, not Grace Anansi! Lucky for you, she hasn’t found out!)

Medusa flails her hands in defeat. “Fine. A promise is a promise. We’ll do it. But I won’t like any minute of it.”

With that proclamation, they head for the bed.

(Ugh! Hunter, you might be a dolt, but even you deserve better treatment. Freeze her out! She doesn’t deserve any of your love! I’m now on your side.)

“Gee thanks, Creator,” Hunter says in his head. “But she made a promise and I am her husband.”

Surprisingly, sparks fly over the bed.

(***Shrugs***)

Afterwards, Hunter smiles up at me.

“Did you see that?” he cries.

(Unfortunately, yes. I’m privy to all your…activities.)

“I’m as smexy as my dad!”

(There are a lot of things I’d call Divan and smexy isn’t one of them. There’s no “sm” to the man or YOU!)

“Whatever, Creator, now I can conquer the world!”

(Oh Geez, not again!)

“Of love!”

(***Smacks head***)

Little does Hunter know that Zolnax saw all of his parents exertions.

(What the heck? Why is he up?)

Tentacles slither out from under Zolnax’s bed.

(Ugh. I hate that. ***Plops in a monster fighting night light***)

Poor little Zolnax is dirty and tired and embarassed. A failure is bound to happen if he doesn’t get back to bed. He should shower first though or his meter will stay beat red for a while.

But instead, he uses a strange potion, blurping it all over himself and magically he’s clean!

(I gotta hand it to him. He’s a genius in a stupid, idiotic way. I think I like this kid!)

Another stupid, idiot thing in this world? Yeah…butterflies flitting around in winter.

(***Hits head on desk***)

Hunter gets dressed then flashes me a Divan Rex™ cheesy smile.

(***crosses arms*** What are you up to?)

Hunter sings, “You’ll see!”

He changes into a nice coat with a scarf and walks to a superhero bowling alley.

(I don’t know what you’re doing but I’d stay away from superheroes if I were you, Hunter. They hate villains.)

“I know, Creator, but do you know who loves superheroes?”

(No, who?)

He grins. “Babes!”

(Ugh. 😖)

(Blast his Serial Romantic aspiration!)

Surveying the place, he saunters up to his intended target.

(Hunter, you’re shameless!)

“Shameless? I thought you were on my side,” he answers silently.

(I take it back! If nothing else for little Zolnax! Divorce is awful for children!)

But he ignores me.

The lady in the pink coat turns to Hunter and asks, “Are you going to use this lane?”

He whips around and shrugs. “I just thought a beautiful woman such as yourself might like a night on the town. Forget ugly shoes, heavy balls, and sticky seats, I’ve just won the lottery and need someone to spend my money on.”

(***eye roll*** Way to be subtle, Hunter. If she slaps you, I won’t blame her.)

“You mean, you’re rich?” she asks.

“Richer than Smark Suckerberg and Phil Fakes rolled into one!”

She instantly agrees and they both change into their best clothes as Hunter takes her to the most expensive restaurant in town.

(Woo hoo, Hunter! You’ve found yourself a first class gold digger!)

“Why thank you, Creator!”

(That wasn’t a compliment. 😑)

Hunter finds out she’s Miko Ojo, a public servant.

(Omg, Hunter! Get away from her–she’s worse than a gold digger! She’s a politician!)

Ignoring me, Hunter is impressed when Miko orders the most expensive thing on the menu.

(😐)

And their waiter is none other than Vladislaus Straud, a vicious vampire!

(No wonder Hunter feels at home here.)

Instead of walking to the kitchen, Vlad poofs into a bat.

(Vampires. 😜)

During dinner, Miko is as shameless as Hunter and she rawrs, “After dinner, why don’t we go upstairs for…dessert!”

(Sigh…you better say good bye to all your money, Hunter, because I have a feeling she’s going to want a LARGE campaign contribution.)

And before I could get that sentence out, he’s showering her with gifts.

And planting a slobbery smackeroo on her.

(Huh boy. 🤦‍♀️)

“And you thought this would backfire, Creator!” he whispers to me. “I’m about to get lucky.”

(Lucky isn’t what I’d call it but I’ll stop seeing into the future now. 😖)

She gives him a sultry stare. “Are you ready?”

Hunter is speechless and only waggles his head as he traipses after her like a trained monkey.

(🙄😑😡)

(You’re not even going to relieve yourself first before you slither into the gutter?)

“Nope. What if she runs off?”

(Good riddance then!)

The two, right on cue, spring onto the bed.

And hearts fly!

(Hunter…I just had a horrible thought. You DID use protection, didn’t you? Hunter? HUNTER????)