After Hunter takes a nap, I whisk in a new house (with the funds he’s
(Why so grumpy, Hunter? I thought you’d be pleased!)
(Look! Medusa is happy! Remember. A happy wife is a happy life!)
“Because, Creator, I don’t trust you. This house has weird omens surrounding it. I can feel it.”
(Staaaap. Would I do something to hurt you?)
(This house will help you. And when it does, I want a thorough apology.)
“Humph. We’ll see.” Hunter runs into the new house.
“This doesn’t even look like a house I’d want to live in. It’s bright and cheery. Not fit for Hunter the Invincible.”
(You still on that kick? I thought you gave that up chapters ago. And besides, this was on sale. I got it at a real bargain. You’ll love it. Now stop complaining and go take a shower. You’ll feel better.)
“Fine,” Hunter grumbles and marches up the stairs.
“What kind of shower is that? It doesn’t have a door on it.”
(It’s from the islands. Made especially so you can commune with nature!)
Hunter gets in and mumbles, “It’s so you could save a buck. I know your cheap plum, Creator.”
(Well, you’ll thank me one day when you’ve saved up for that mansion you’ve always wanted.)
(There. You’re all clean and have a nice suit on. Happy now?)
(What’ll change your attitude?)
(Men. 😒 Okay, go find her and see how you’ll fair. At least she’s in a good mood.)
Hunter finds Medusa and puts on his awkward swank. “So…my sweet cowplant. What do you think about your big hunk of man providing this big hunk of house. Ya think you want to take a dip in the big hunk of bed?”
“Do you have one million simoleons?” Medusa asks.
Hunter whimpers, “No.”
“Then you will not savor this temptress body. Begone from me, Hunter the Clod. Until you either win the lottery or rob a bank.”
“Shut up, Creator! This is all your fault!”
(MY fault? You’re the one who wished that witch into your life. Now that she’s a part of your family, you’re stuck with her.)
Hunter goes to make supper, grumbling about his awful life as he shakes the salt.
Zolnax says, “Dad, watch me eat like a pig!”
(Aw…aren’t you so proud, Hunter? He’s definitely your offspring.)
Hunter grimaces and pushes his food away. “I’m not hungry.” Then he marches upstairs to take a dump in the bathroom.
(OMG! Hunter! What’s that?)
“Creator! Can I not have a little privacy?”
(Seriously, Hunter! There’s a ghosty type person staring at you! Aren’t you freaking out?)
But instead of gasping for air, pulling his hair out or running wildly away, Hunter welcomes the spirit to him.
He looks up at me and exclaims, “Ha HA, Creator! Your twisted little plans backfired! I’m now the INVINCIBLE man I’ve always known I was. I’ll show you!”
(Show me what? ***shakes head*** Not that evil wishing well again!)
He smirks. “The spirits are with me, Creator. Unlike you, I am no longer a mere mortal. Watch.”
Flipping a coin into the well, Hunter makes a wish.
(***Slaps face*** Here we go again. What will happen now? Destitution?)
But to Hunter’s amazement, the well spits out…MONEY!
(OMG!!! He DID win the lottery!!!)
Gold coins rain down on him like a clickety fountain.
Medusa wasn’t home from her criminal job yet, so Hunter went to bed happily dreaming about finally being with his voluptuous cowplant.