Chapter 2.9

(Oh, Hunter…what are you up to now?)

“I’m earning my keep with my wife. What else?” He lifts the side of his mouth in a smirk.

The magical tree transports Hunter to an orchard.

(How’s an orchard going to earn you anything? It isn’t yours. 🙄)

“Oh, Creator, you’re so beneath my intelligence. Just watch and learn.”

Instantly, Hunter pops out a watering can and sprinkles all the plants.

He continues this until dawn.

(There’s no doubt you’re working your little tail off. I like your work ethic. I just don’t get how this will earn you anything. You can’t take from areas you don’t own. 😐)

“I’ve found a loophole you wouldn’t even think about.”

(Sigh)

******

After a hard night’s work, Hunter makes a plate of heart cookies at home.

(Lolololol!!! 😝)

Hunter whips his hand in the air. “Laugh all you want, Creator, these will work their magic on my beautiful cowplant. You watch.”

(***Snorts*** I know Medusa and it’ll take a thousand degree torch to melt her. Cookies won’t work.)

“We shall see, Creator.”

(***Crosses arms*** Yes, we shall.)

Hunter takes a shower and puts on a bathrobe. Then Medusa walks through the door.

(Uh oh, Hunter! Your cowplant doesn’t look happy.)

“Just leave her to me, Creator.” Hunter turns toward Kiera. “Dragonberry, what’s wrong? Did you eat the cookies I so lovingly made for you?”

“Are you talking about those mounds of manipulation? No. I don’t appreciate poison. Until you come up with enough money to get me out of this hovel, you will not savor my luscious lips nor my voluptuous body.”

Hunter gulps.

(And you were saying…?)

“It’s time for plan B is all.”

(And what’s that?)

Hunter arches his eyebrow. “You’ll see, Creator. You’ll see.”

(I hate it when he says that! 😩)

After Hunter changes, he meets up with his neighbor, Grace Anansi.

(Oh no you don’t, Hunter! If you cross this cheating line, you can never get your good name back!)

“Like I care, Creator,” he says in his head. “Well, hello, beautiful!”

Grace smiles. “Hey…I’m looking forward to our date today. Where are we going?”

(Hunter! I mean it!)

“Can I help it if I’m in the mood?” he yells in his head. “It’s the cookies’ fault!”

He wiggles his eyebrows. “And it looks like I’m going to finally get lucky, if you know what I mean.”

(For every action, there’s an equal but opposite reaction. Take THAT in your pipe and smoke it.)

“I’ve got this all under control, Creator. Stop worrying.”

(***Shakes head***)

For their warm up, Hunter takes Grace to the orchard.

(***Eyeroll*** Way to go, Hunter. Now you’re making your date do your dirty work.)

“She likes it!” he cries.

(That’s so rotten, even for you. 😡)

“Fine.” As Hunter ushers Grace to a seat while he tends the many garden plants, a chime rings out.

(What’s that sound, Hunter? What did you do?)

Smirking, he says, “It’s the sound of my bank account growing. Ah…who said money doesn’t grow on trees?”

(But that’s…that’s…CHEATING! I won’t allow you to benefit from the Landgraab’s trees. So that’s the last time or I’ll start you from ZERO! Understand? You can get one piece of fruit from each type of tree and plant your OWN garden like your father did.)

“But that’s so much work,” Hunter whines then shrugs. “No matter. I’ll find another way to easy money. It’s time for my date!”

(😑)

Hunter whips up a new outfit.

“How do I look, Creator?” Hunter tries to create his father’s cheesy smile but fails.

(Do I have to answer that?)

“Ah…there’s my lovely spell-butterfly. How are you, my dear?” Hunter asks as they walk up to a movie theater.

(Movie date? How original. 😑)

“Shut up, Creator,” Hunter hisses in his head. “You’re ruining the moment.”

“I’m ready to make magic if you are,” Grace says with hooded eyes.

(Huh boy. These two are made for each other. 🙄)

Hunter looks up and says, “Told you so, Creator. Gonna get sooooo lucky.”

(Barf. 🤢)

Then he goes in for a wet smooch.

(Double barf. 🤢🤢)

High from his tonsil hockey, Hunter stumbles over to the movie theater.

(Geeze, Hunter, you’d think you’d never kissed before.)

“I haven’t, Creator. Well…not in this world anyway. It feels like forever!”

The two eat outside while Hunter keeps throwing Grace weird, cringy looks all through dinner.

Then they watch some old lady making a better dinner than they had earlier.

(Smooth, Hunter. I can tell you’re just like your father in the love department. NOT. 😪)

But Hunter doesn’t hear me. He’s too busy making out in the back of the theater.

After the show is over, they both say good bye and Hunter shuffles home with his needs so low that he almost passes out. But he has this goofy look on his face.

(Omg, Hunter, snap out of it! You’re about to see Medusa and if she sniffs out you’ve been unfaithful, I won’t be able to save you!)

“Really, Creator? You say that to the God of Love? Just watch me work my magic on my sweet cowplant.”

(***Rubs temples*** This aught to be good.)

When he walks inside, Medusa is waiting for him. “Hunter the Lecherous, where have you been?”

(Eek! She knows! 😱)

“Out making money for you, my night flower. What else?”

(You’re such a liar! I wish I could tattle on you! 😡)

Kiara’s eyes light up. “Is that why I heard triumphant money chimes earlier? Our coffers are growing?”

“That’s right, demonbaby!”

(😑)

Kiara grabs Hunter and lays the biggest kiss on him.

Hunter goes to sleep happy.

But his happiness might not last long.