Chapter 2.8

After Hunter showers, he plops down on the couch, thinking.

(Why are you looking so happy, Hunter, after that epic fail at the waxing gig.)

Hunter gazes up at me with a twisted smile. “Nice of you to remind me of that, Creator, but even you can’t get me down. My marvelous, spectacular mega mind just thought up the most creative, genius-genius idea to get that million simoleons and THEN I’ll have two babes at my beck and call.”

(Not sure about that other chick, but even with a million simoleons, Medusa will NEVER be at your beck and call.)

Hunter doesn’t say anything back at me and just chops away at what looks like cookies.

Then he stops suddenly and laughs maniacally. “Muahahahahaaaa!”

(Huh boy. 😐)

Medusa sits at the table and spews, “Stop laughing and start cooking, Hunter the Scourge. My stomach has shrunk to a little tiny plum pit. And clean the house while you’re at it. The smells around here are enough to make our angelic son faint!”

(See, Hunter? Money won’t change…THAT.)

He swishes up an eiffle tower from the random clay ball laying around. “This is what I will buy for you once my next mission is over, my lovely cowplant. Don’t worry your darling head about it.”

(She doesn’t seem worried, Hunter. Just mad.)

Next, he gets ready for the day and wanders over to a house in Windenburg.

“Ah…the start of a criminal operation. Awesome times these are. I feel at home.”

(Where are you, Hunter? I don’t recognize that house. Are you going to steal from them? It’s the middle of the day. I wouldn’t advise it. People will see you!)

“Creator, I have no idea how you created me when your intelligence is so low and mine is so high. But I’ll explain it to you since you must be lead around by the hand. You see, you told me you created this world from the beginning. That means my nemesis, Buzz Landgraab, is but a wee teenager right now and I’m his senior. That also means I can manipulate his infantile mind. Ah…sweet revenge will taste…um…sweet!”


(I wouldn’t mess with him, Hunter. He’s still Buzz and he still has a better mind than you. Sorry to say it but he’s not near as stupid, dim, idiotic, foolish, laughable…)

“Hush, Creator, I’m knocking on the door!”

But no one seems to be home.

Hunter waltzes in as if he’s been invited.

(Where are you going, Hunter? The valuables are in the safe in their bedroom. ***Slaps hand over mouth*** Why am I helping him????)

“Don’t trouble your little brain about it, Creator. I know what I’m doing.” Hunter glides over to the office.

In a flash, he sifts through all of the Landgraab files.

(Hunter, you can’t get into their finances if that’s what you’re thinking. The Landgraabs put safety measures on their safety measures. When it comes to money, they’re really good about keeping it.)

But Hunter ignores me and says, “Bingo!”

And then he does that stupid evil laugh again.

(Evil sims. 😑)

Next, Buzz comes home from school grouchy and sinks into the sofa in the mancave out back.

(Buzz doesn’t look so hot, Hunter. I’d advise you leave. Now. Before he calls the cops. I don’t want to bail your plum out. You don’t have that kind of money.)

Not heeding the warning, Hunter barges in without even knocking.

Buzz says, “Hey, Mister! What gives? If you’re selling something, I don’t want it and if you don’t want to suffer my five finger death punch, I suggest you leave.”

(Wow. He IS in a bad mood. 😱)

Without missing a beat, Hunter exclaims, “Oh! I see a huge spider on your chest! It looks dangerous, Buzz!”

Instantly, Buzz falls for the ruse and Hunter smacks the poor kid in the face.

“OW!” Buzz whines.

Grinning gleefully, Hunter coos, “Now who will suffer a five finger death punch?”

The former-nemesis-from-another-lifetime sighs and says, “What do you want?”

For the next thirty minutes, Buzz divulges the Landgraab family secret.

(I’m in SHOCK! Who knew you could operate like a true criminal boss, Hunter? I’m perplexed. A part of me is proud and the other part is…DISGUSTED!!!)

“Why thank you, Creator. That is truly touching coming from you.”

(***crosses arms*** You’re not welcome!)

Just where Buzz said, a magical glowing tree resides at the back of a park in Willow Creek.

And with his stupid evil laugh, Hunter enters it.


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